So as you all know from my first post i moved 2 weeks ago. The blinds on my bathroom window were disgusting and i threw them out. I bought new blinds but they were a half an inch too big. I figured my backyard was heavily wooded that it wouldn't matter if the window in my shower didn't have blinds till i could exchange it and get new a one. Yea, well i figured wrong. I was taking a shower and i suddenly hear voices, i turn to look out the window and there are two cable guys looking at me. My shower window is waist high to over my head, the cable connection is right next to this window. My first instinct was to duck down out of site, but i had soap in my hair and i needed to pick my kids up from school..so i didn't have time for this! My second immediate thought was "well i have to get my kids, i sooo don't have time to wait for these guys to leave, awwww hell i crossfit , i like the way i look ...I AM FINISHING MY SHOWER!" They cable guys were walking away when i stood back up but i had to laugh at myself that i had that much confidence in ME to finish my shower.....this is something i never had before.
CONFIDENCE: belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities.
SELF-WORTH: the sense of one's own value as a person
College-Nursing
I was one of the few 18yr old admitted to the nursing program...it truly was one of the hardest things i have ever done! I remember right before starting my very last semester i broke down crying to my mother that i didn't think i could finish. she asked me why, and i explained that my professor's didn't think i could , that they i was too young, had no life experience to complete the program. I will NEVER forget my mother's words "Don't let ANYONE ever tell you what you are capable of doing! If you truly want to be a Nurse then go back and show them how bad you want it" God Bless my mom..i attacked that semester and graduated..i have been a Nurse for 25yrs and still am passionate about my profession! Unfortunately outside of nursing i didn't value myself, i had no confidence in my abilities as a human being. So how do you build your confidence, realize your value?
1. be kind to yourself
when you look in the mirror do you pick out all your flaws, day dream about what cosmetic procedure you can get if you had the money? start by pointing out the attributes you like about yourself every day. START seeing yourself in a positive light and STOP focusing on what you think is negative about you. When i entered my 2nd marriage i was 130lbs, size 4, ran 3 miles a day and weight trained 3 days a week...i always thought i was "fat" and was unhappy with looking at myself in the mirror..it didn't help that i had 2 husbands who confirmed what i thought about myself. Both of these men would tell me on a daily basis how ugly, fat, and what a terrible person, wife and mother i was. I started to realize that if what either of these men said about me was true then neither of them would have married me in the first place. So eventually when i heard these horrible things said to my face i would say to myself "elisa, he is not speaking the truth, you are not fat, your are not ugly, you are not a b**** c****, you are a good mother, etc etc" i started affirming myself and building my self-esteem.
2. rehearse your victories
my mom would always tell me when i was having a hard time to write down all the good things that God has given me and done for me in my life, so when bad things happen, because they do.... you can look back and see oh wait yes God gave me wonderful stuff.... for example... beautiful blue eyes, i am smart, i am college educated and have 3 healthy children . When you look over your list you start to realize that " hmmmmm i must be important to God for he has blessed me with all these good things in my life." When you start writing down the positive physical, emotional, material and spiritual substance in your life you stop focusing on what you think is negative.
3. a grateful heart
Every time i am sore from a workout, i remember how my pediatric patient has never sat up by himself, or walked, is wheelchair bound, he is a child...hmmm my sore muscles don't seem so bad. Take a look at your victory list...are you grateful for anything on there? I am truly grateful i wake up every day, that i can open my eyes and see the many texts my kids send me while i am sleeping..like "i need a turkey sandwich mom today by 230pm ..WITH MUSTARD", hear my cats meow cause they want food, or smell the coffee i just made, get up out of my bed on my own and dress myself. Things we all take for granted. I am even grateful for all the bad things that have happened to me since i feel they have made me stronger, made me more sensitive to other people around me who are walking thru hard times and it makes me appreciate the good times in my life. Start being thankful for all that you do have and become content, and happy with you.
4. help others
Many times we can't see past our own problems so we lose our confidence in who we are, where we are going and our purpose in life. Help someone by volunteering, raising money for a cause that you wish to change and take the focus off you and the negative situation that you think your in. When you help others it makes you feel good, and you begin to realize you have something of value to offer....you, your time, your efforts, your gifts. My son who is 16yrs old said to me as we were walking out of the grocery store the other day.."mom i have to laugh wherever we go you always talk to people and pay someone a compliment. " I said to my son "I might be the only person who talks to them all day and what i say maybe the only kind thing they may hear about themselves, God teaches us To love our neighbour as ourself..i am just paying it forward honey"
He hugged me and said "mom you have been thru so much you have every right not to be nice to people but yet you are anyway, nice job mom!" all i could do is smile and say thank you and realize my kids are watching me set the example in helping others, taking the negative and turning it into positive. You will be so rewarded when you give of yourself, in so many ways that giving will help you to be a better you!
5. Do Not Compare Yourself to Others
when i first started Crossfit i was one of the oldest in my box, THE slowest, had alot of flexibility issues from my knee surgery, over weight by 49lbs, had high blood pressure, i was probably the most unfit. There was no way i could even compare my times in the WODs to anyone in the class, i usually went way past the time caps, i was so slow they used to send another crossfitter out to the curb to make sure i was ok, every movement i did was VERY scaled back due to my lack of ability. I learned early on that i went in to each WOD to do MY best, and never to beat someone else's time, because i just physically couldn't. When i realized i couldn't compare myself to anyone, i stopped doing that in my life too. I gave my self permission to be "just me" everyday at crossfit, and guess what, i started to succeed....hmmmm. Now 9months later, i am fitter, stronger and faster, i still don't compare my times to anyone else's...i am enjoying MY successes, working on MY weaknesses both in crossfit and in my life. I also walk around enjoying being "just me" everyday, all the time!
So my friends what do you see when you look in the mirror? Your flaws? or will you give yourself "permission" to be "just you"?
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